Things

I'm not really keen on writing blogs to showcase what I've been doing lately or write about any achievements - i.e. see Jon Partridge's cringey blog... I generally write when I have something interesting to write about. I did have something interesting to write about, but I have literally just forgotten it. I thought about it in my head, haha yeah Will, that's pretty funny, you should write about that in your blog, your blog is becoming a great way to show off your brutally good wit and stuff and bla bla bla I'm really thirsty now so I think I'm going to get some water. The bit at the end actually happened, I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of water. I sometimes find it hard to focus and my mind wanders a lot. So anyway, I forgot what to write about. I think in future, as soon as I think of something to write I just need to quickly write it down and then I have something to jog my memory.

I think this whole short term memory/attention span problem is a recurring theme.

I have re-read a few of my previous entries and I'm shocked by the number of spelling and grammatical mistakes I make. I think it's due to my stream of consciousness style of writing. And maybe also my dyslexia. Nick doesn't believe I have dyslexia - 'You're not a retard Will, you can read, write and spell'. He just thinks my mother was a hypochondriac and put this condition upon me. Hmm, that doesn't really explain all the tests I had when I was a child that showed that I did have mild dyslexia. And also, while I am a very good reader and writer, you get me dictating and I'm fucked. Hmm, actually I guess I'm not that bad.

I got a bit side tracked and started reading about dyslexia on Wikipedia, and then onto intelligence and IQ. It seems I that I could have applied to join Mensa when I was 9. I don't think I really knew anything about Mensa at that age, and maybe my parent's just weren't bothered (they probably didn't let me join the club order to prevent my siblings from getting jealous). When I was 9 I had an IQ test (I had a lot of tests when I was young, along with my brother (who also has dyslexia)) and I scored 136 using the Stanford-Binet test, which works out at 154 on the Cattell test (Ones IQ number varies depending on the test) - Mensa has a minimum entry of 148 for the Cattell test (130 for Stanford-Binet, I have just read). Hmm actually I did think about joining Mensa when I was at uni, but couldn't really be bothered because of the hassle of taking another test and all the paperwork. And at that point in my life, I used to have panic attacks during exams.

And also, I'm not overly sure what happens when you join Mensa. Maybe you get preferential treatment during an apocalypse (like being allowed into a governmental retreat or something), or you have monthly get togethers where you chat about clever things. I think I would be rubbish at those kind of events. If someone said to me 'Greetings Will, my name is Marcus, what's the square root of 20124?', I'd really struggle. Actually, I wouldn't just struggle, I'd reply 'Fuck knows, I'm shit at maths'. And then it get all awkward and people there would start muttering about who let me in. Hmm, I don't think I'd openly swear that at the chap, my innate politeness and anti-confrontational attitude wouldn't allow that to happen. However, if they asked me some general knowledge questions like where did Napoleon die?* Or what was the primary armament of the P-51 Mustang?*, then I'd probably do reasonably well. I would probably get bored quite quickly and also get tired, unless there was a chair. A good spread would be a plus too. I used to be a factual bookworm when I was younger, I had loads of books like factfinders and encyclopedias. Never in a weird, geeky way, like sitting in the library reading, I just used to enjoy reading about facts when I was home from school. This is probably why I FUCKING LOVE WIKIPEDIA.

If anyone reading this ever sees me in real life, please ask me a general knowledge question - I really enjoy talking about facts and stuff.

* Napoleon died on the island of Saint Helena, in exile after losing the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
* The main armament of the Mustang were 6 M2 heavy machine guns, which fired the 12.7x99mm bullet. It was a good plane until the jet age rendered it obsolete.

Music

I like listening to music and also finding new music. It's almost a hobby. I guess I enjoy listening to music so much due to my exceptional (and bordering on superhuman) sense of hearing. I can probably hear parts of the song that only dogs can hear ( I did try and make my old dog (dead) listen to some music using headphones but it was a disaster (deaf)). I jest, she didn't go deaf straight away but she did display absolutely no interest in the music. She did later become deaf and then died. No idea what killed her, but we found her dead on the sofa in the morning and I had to dig a hole for her. It was really cold and the ground in the garden was hard, but fortunately I was working as a hod carrier at the time so I was deceptively strong and had a high endurance for physical labour. I dug a little hole for her, then wrapped her up in her favourite (her only) towel, struggling somewhat to contain the huge amount of crap that had dribbled out of her due to her now non-functional anal sphincter muscles. A bit dribbled onto the carpet. I then walked outside and tried to delicately plonk her into the grave. This is where I realised that when I dug her grave, I choose the proportions based on her sleeping naturally, all curled up. She probably did sleep like that on the night she died, but by the morning, the effects of rigor mortis had kicked in and now she was all stretched out. I had to carefully 'bend' her to fit into the ill fitting grave, so she took on a U shape. I then had to 'force' her legs to fit further into the grave, Megan had some surprising strength even in death! Suffice to say, she did eventually 'fit'. I then refilled the grave and ate breakfast and then went to work. I'm not exactly sure why I just wrote that.

Here is some music I have been listening too:
Delicate Steve
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N26gNghLDpU&feature=related
Reflecting Skin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6zdj5nazkQ
Three Trapped Tigers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZublJ5TLb8Y
Frank Fairfield
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz70zSfVcdY
Washed Out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fYnfE5Cycg
War on Drugs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMToQg0vSds
Russian Circles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2-hJtJrXxc
Adebisi Shank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXxhKMmJLtk
Minus Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R9Vh9BD7ro&feature=related
Emeralds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDw6tUiTfkE
Dels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjAnmqecMKI

Being amazing

I always knew I was different, special even. People would say 'Will's such a cool person', and I'd be like 'Cheers Gary' and he'd go 'How could you hear me?'. I never knew. NOW I DO. I've just had a hearing test at work (part of the health and safety stuff) and I not only passed, I have the best hearing in the ENTIRE COMPANY. 400 people +. The guy doing the test asked me whether I cheated, I said no, he said well you couldn't anyway, this test is designed so it can't be cheated. I told him that I knew I was special. Superhuman. It's my senses. I have great eyesight, taste and smell. I'm basically like Wolverine, but without the healing, strength, claws, hirsuteness, courage, longevity and Adamantium skeleton. I need to think of a way I can use my power to save people. Maybe I'll patrol the streets of Amersham. I'll hear police sirens and rush over (probably drive) and say 'Hi, I heard your sirens from about 2 miles away, how can I help?', they'd reply 'Thank God you're here, ok, we have 4 really hot ladies trapped in that burning building, use your heightened senses to get them out. Dammit. Ahhh fire, hurry, it's get hotter'. 'Ok, I'll do what I can'. I'll then proceed to rescue them. Hmm. While that sounds fun, mostly likely I'd be watching TV and hear the sirens and think ahh fuck that, Frozen Planet is on. Still, it's the thought that counts. I'd have to wear a mask or something. Actually, thinking about it, if they said about rescuing the ladies from a burning building, I'd have to decline. Firstly, the smoke and heat would ruin my sense of smell and secondly, that's pretty dangerous and I lack even the most basic fire fighting equipment.