Another email.

I was going to copy and paste an email I received from some girl called Adriana, but I've just skimmed through it and it's really long. I haven't counted but I'm sure that it approaches 700 words in length. That's excessive. Here's a few paragraphs...

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? 

In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit 
on facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... 
I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me 
and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? 
RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know 
there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..


I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted 
to chill so now we finally can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping 
this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore 
i get there.. maybe even help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? 
i cudnt find ui was soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show 
me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe...


we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i 
wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were 
cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about 
me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..

Hmm, firstly I must stress that I don't know this person (even though she appears to know me). Secondly, from the 1st line you can realise that she's a retard. i. Your. Email. She really needs to either work on her diction or at least proof read her message before she hits send. And then she blames her tardy ability to send emails on her laptop, which doesn't really seem right since even the most basic of laptops have the technology required to write emails. I guess that perhaps it may have a virus or perhaps it has no free memory (which doesn't particularly surprise me considering how much porn she claims to watch - streaming videos requires a good amount of processing power and internet bandwidth). She then goes into how I know her from Facebook (I don't) and that she thinks I deleted her (I didn't, but would have done). Considering that she thinks that I deleted her, she still goes on to try to meet up with me. In most people, if one gets deleted from another persons Facebook, then that's a strong hint that the said person doesn't like them. Yet it seems Adriana is oblivous to that, perhaps she's actually mental. Hmm. She claims that we've chatted a couple of times (we haven't), and that she's named her cat 'Boo'. That's a dumb name. So she's 23, has a crappy laptop, likes watching porn, and has a cat named Boo. Hmm but she did say I was cute, and since I'm very receptive to flattery, perhaps she's not all bad.