Forgetting things

I have no memory of my dream last night. I know that I dreamed because when I woke up, I remembered vague things, but now I can't recall anything. It was either incredibly dull, so my brain didn't bothered remembering it, or, that it was so intensely horrific that I'm now suffering from dissociative amnesia. Hmm. I'm happy that I don't speak my thoughts, every so often I look at the tv at work and at the moment, there's a cookery show on. The chef is a particularly attractive lady and I can't help but think things like 'Oohh she can lick my sauce' and 'I'd like to rub her with salted butter and beef dripping'. She was pretty. I don't know her name but she's half Italian and Welsh. Hmm, I can't figure out whether I find Nicki Minaj attractive, I guess she is, but then she looks a bit weird. I'm going to err on the side of caution and say yes, yes she is attractive. So, if I met her at a party and she started dancing while looking at me, I'd think hmm, well that's odd, I guess she's pretty, but does she expect me to start dancing with her? Oh God, I hope not. Oh Christ, this is awkward, she's looking right at me. What do I do? Errr, try smiling awkwardly, this is not enjoyable, oh shit, she's dancing towards me now, ok make your mind up - attractive or not, ahhh yeah I guess so. Then, if she asked me for my number (I'd have to ask her to text me rather than call me), I'd probably say that it would be best to get in contact via email. If she was particularly forward and wanted to come home with me, I'd have to reply 'Well, the thing is, I live quite far away so I guess your place would be better, but would you want to wait a while because I'm enjoying just standing around here and I'm not entirely sure if I like your company to be honest'. I guess this is why I'm not renowned for being a ladies man.